SM:

An SM scene is a controlled situation.

ABUSE:

Abuse is an out-of-control situation.

SM:

Negotiation occurs before an SM scene to determine what will and will not happen in that scene.

ABUSE:

One person determines what will happen.

SM:

Knowledgable consent is given to the scene by all parties.

ABUSE:

No consent is asked for or given.

SM:

The “bottom” has a safeword that allows them to stop the scene at any time should they need to for physical or emotional reasons.

ABUSE:

The person being abused cannot stop what is happenning.

SM:

Everyone involved in an SM scene is concerned about the needs, desires and limits of others.

ABUSE:

No concern is given to the needs, desires and limits of the abused person.

SM:

The people in an SM scene are careful to be sure that they are not impaired by alcohol or drug use during the scene.

ABUSE:

Alcohol or drugs are often used before an episode of abuse.

SM:

After an SM scene, the people involved feel good.

ABUSE:

After an episode of abuse, the people involved feel bad.